Time Goes By

I hardly remember anything anymore. Many things I don't give a shit about. Looking back, sorry, but I just don't care about you anymore.

I have more patience now. Paying more attention to details. Find the little things in life more rewarding. Definitely family first. Reading more. Less angry....well...sometimes *shrugs. Okay with animals.

Working on better communications. Getting better at things (drawing, cooking, photography). Going home.

I lied, I do want people to remember me. Wonder how many people will come on that day. The day when everything I was suppose to do, I did.

"Like a sudden drop that falls in my heart my repressed emotions begin to out pour at that moment and the scenery around is being filled with you I run out fast-moving seasons thinking of you silently in my heart"

Twelve

Every time I go to Matt's parents place in Virginia, it makes me feel like twelve again. Especially when him, his brother and me had to sit in the back seat while their parents were driving to church. Classic.

Things We Left Behind

30 years and 352 days What happens to me when my mind starts to waste away? Will there be evidence of my existence? Will I remember myself? All I have left are photos and possessions but these don't seem too important since most of the stuff are in boxes or lost somewhere in another dimension. I guess it doesn't matter, I'm not afraid to be forgotten.

The Better Part Of Me

It's hard for me to find peace. I am always annoyed at things. I am constantly worried about things. Yes, I want control. I want to be in control of my life but there are things larger than me. There's nothing I can do right now except do what I can to ease the pain. I tell people that no matter how they feel - sad, worried, hate, happy, bliss - the world still turns so why not smile a little. It's hard to tell someone that when I don't believe it. This current situation is definitely making me rethink a lot of things in my life. Nothing seems important anymore. I lost my inspirations and drive. I don't feel like blogging about food nor do I want to hang out. Cry.....thats what I want to do instead. I hope she doesn't blame herself for this mess nor constantly think about it.

I felt calmness. As I was leaving the office today I felt calm. I can't explain where it came from. I didn't feel the need to walk fast and get annoyed at slow people. I wasn't annoyed at all the chattering in the subway. I peacefully did my grocery shopping in Chinatown. My heart was smiling. Is this the better part of me?

~Incubus If I turn into another, dig me up from under what is covering The better part of me. Sing this song! Remind me that we'll always have each other when everything else is gone.