Luna Saves The Day

Sometimes I imagine, if I can travel back in time, I would change this and change that. You know? How things might turn out differently if I had been more out going in high school or had the courage to talk to that girl. Or maybe if I actually studied more in college though I was sure I didn't want to be an economist.

It's kind of like these soap bubbles, eh? Once they burst and go away, that's it. You can't bring that bubble back and all you can do is look forward to the next bubble. Wobbling through the air. No point in thinking about the past, got to look forward to the next wobbling bubble. Heck, even the Doctor can't go back into his own history.

Bubbles by Luna Saves the Day

Roasted Lamb With Mint Sauce

This actually started when I got stuck with a big bunch of mint. I thought about making minty brownies but that would require me to get chocolate and baking soda and other stuff. Then early last week, when I opened the freezer to get my ice cream, I noticed that I still have a lamb shoulder chop from few weeks ago. I had bought a pound of it and took most of the chops to a friend's bbq. I've been buying bulk and storing lots of meat in the freezer.

And since it's been so cool lately, I decided to roast the lamb chop in the oven. That's how this whole thing came about. Also since I had everything I needed for the flatbread, it was an obvious idea.

Annnddd the day before, I bought a pound of ground lamb meat at Fleischer's and made lamb meatballs. All lamb, all weekend.

I was on the phone with my dad today and he told me to eat less meat. =(

There are talks about a Portland, Maine road trip in August. Lobster rolls and clam bake. Soon it'll be autumn.

Mint Sauce 2 cups loosely packed mint leaves 1/2 cup loosely packed parsley 3 cloves of garlic Juice and zest of 1 lemon Few pinches of salt and pepper Olive oil

If you have a food processor, put everything in except the olive oil and give it a good few pulses. Then let the machine run and slowly drizzle in enough olive oil to make a nice green sauce. Or if you're like me and does not have a food processor, slice and dice and chop everything by hand. Again, add enough olive oil to make a sauce. You can make this the night before. Only gets better the longer it sits.

Flatbread 1 cup flour 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon yeast 1/2 cup warm water

*Note, I used 1/2 teaspoon of yeast and it didn't rise as much as I wanted it to. I guess 20mins was too short. So I'm suggesting 1 teaspoon of yeast which should help the dough rise quicker.

Lamb shoulder chops (1 chop per person) Turnips (Or potatoes or carrots or radishes or whatever root vegetables you like) 1 lemon Salt and pepper Olive oil

Pre-heat a 350 degree oven. Take the lamb chops out if they are in the fridge and let them sit for 30-45mins so they come up to room temperature. While you're waiting, start on the flatbread...

In a bowl, mix the flour, salt and yeast together. Then add in the water. Mix the whole thing together until a dough is formed. Put a towel over it and just let it sit till you're ready to roll it out.

If you're using potatoes or carrots, be sure to par-boil them first before roasting in the oven unless you have those tiny thin carrots. I didn't par-boil my turnips.

When the oven is ready, put a piece of parchment paper on a roast pan or sheet pan. Put the lamb chops, vegetables and the lemon, sliced in half, onto the pan. Drizzle olive oil and season everything. Pop the pan into the oven for 30mins if you like medium rare or 40mins for medium. Flip the chops half way through cooking to ensure browning on both sides.

While the lamb and vegetables are roasting, turn the dough out onto a floured surface. This sort of depends on how big you want your flatbreads to be. I rolled the dough into a tube shape, about 2 inches wide. I cut the dough into 4 pieces and stretched each one like making a pizza. I could've made them looked prettier but I don't have a rolling pin =(

Get a pan hot, brush oil onto the flatbreads, and cook the flatbreads on the pan until golden brown on both sides.

When the lamb chops are done, take it out of the oven and let them rest for 10mins.

Serve it with the flatbreads and few big spoonful of the mint sauce.

Squeeze lemon juice on everything.

EAT

Nostalgia And Self Doubt

I've been thinking, well I think a lot... sometimes way too much.

"These days, the stars seem out of reach"

Next month, I'll be starting my 11th year in New York and that's about how long I have had my Flickr account. I couldn't help it but I scrolled through 147 pages of photos. Reliving so many things, weird and exciting and mundane stuff, from 2014 back to 2004.

I miss grad school. Those 2 years were so much fun. Everyday I learned something new about myself and it changed me in so many ways. I feel that cause of grad school and obviously all the friends (they're pretty much my family now) brought the real me out of this shell. I mean I'm still shy, I still get these sudden feelings of sadness and anger and constantly regretting my choices but the 2003 me was such a different person. A person I couldn't imagine how/what he would be now if he had stayed in LA. I am glad I moved to NY.

I miss all the wild Thursday Night Outs, the crazy karaoke sessions, the get togethers...

Though beginning my 11th year here, most of those friends had already moved away, started families and are planning to start something new in another country. I hate feeling nostalgic. I want to keep holding onto the old days.

Time doesn't stop. Time doesn't care. 11 years ago, I moved to New York City. I had no idea how my first year at grad school was going to be. I didn't plan my life after grad school. I didn't plan my life when I turned 29. Turning 30 was a big deal. Now I wish I can be 30 again. Turning 35 was another big deal because I didn't plan that either. At 2003, I didn't plan this far ahead. I've been going one year at a time. Should I have my shit together by now? 36....I'm scare to turn 40 and I barely know what I'm doing and while I have a "job," I don't have a "career." What the fuck am I doing?

But Leonardo Da Vinci didn't become famous till 46, so I got some time.

Do what you love, they say. But what do I love? It's been hard to motivate myself. I started a food blog with a friend in 2009 and just last week I told him that I wanted to stop. I just can't "review" places or dishes anymore. I can only write YUM in so many different ways. It's getting tiring. Also, I suck as a food writer. I eat my food too fast!

So what about photography? Yes, photography. Here's where the self doubt comes in. I don't know if I'm good enough. I keep staring at other people's work and their images are 100x better than mine. Why am I doing this? Thank goodness I have a regular 9-6 job or else I wouldn't be able to make it as a freelance photographer. And it's so hard to find my own voice because is it my voice or did I just copy someone's style? And this frustrates me. I should give up.

I need to be happy with my choices. I need to be happy with my photos.

All I can do is be myself and create the path that I want to walk on.

I know one thing for sure though, which is rare, that I love love love photographing behind-the-scenes stuff. I like being in restaurant kitchens and shoot for hours. No need to worry about food styling. Things that happen in the kitchen are natural and raw.

But you know, I find so much energy and inspiration when I'm negative. I get motivated to do things, start new projects. I'm asking one of my friends to help me design a tattoo that incorporates the idea of "me." I've been quoting from an anime, Gurren Lagann. It has so much awesome quotes.

"Never afraid of what the future holds, never regretful of the present."

"We evolve beyond the person that we were a minute before. Little by little we advance with each turn."

"Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb!"

"Don't be held back by someone else's bullshit in fake memories.The one path you chose for yourself, is the truth of your universe."

I need to kick my own butt. I get lazy when I'm feeling comfortable. I give myself excuses and then I don't do anything. I need to take more photos. The only way to improve is keep at it every freaking day.

I know, things could be way worse. Stop whining. Okay, I'm over it. Moving on...

Thanks for letting me vent.

Maybe I should stop listening to moody music.

Kara Walker

Scenes from Kara Walker's "A Subtlety"